Far Away
by eventide89
Summary: What SHOULD have happened after Buffy is kicked out in 'Empty Places'. Fuffy.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Lyrics and title courtesy of Nickleback. Characters belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy and whoever else.**

**A/N: Re-uploaded and slightly edited to tidy it up and fix some mistakes in tense-jumping! Also note that this is the only song-based chapter.**

Far Away

_This time, this place  
Misused, mistakes_

Faith paced the living room of the Summers' home, memories both tormenting her and making her smile in equal measure. Violence, betrayal...a Christmas shared in tenuous friendship.

_Too long, too late  
Who was I to make you wait_

The minutes were flying, ticking past. With a frown Faith glanced back into the living room, a small nod from Willow was all the encouragement she needed as she pulled her jacket from the back of the chair and headed out into the night.

_Just one chance  
Just one breath  
Just in case there's just one left_

Her feet pounded against the cold concrete of the pavement as she raced along deserted streets, past empty houses, always following her slayer bond. She could die tomorrow -she knew that- and fuck if she was going to die without finally doing this.

_Cause you know  
you know, you know_

Did she know? She should by now.

T_hat I love you__  
__I have loved you all along__  
__And I miss you__  
__Been far away for far too long_

She'd always loved her. She'd pushed her away, hurt her when the feelings weren't mutual, but she'd never stopped loving her.

_I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go  
Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore_

Buffy had never left her thoughts, her dreams; had been with her each and every night in the dark, dank cell; had held her, kissed her softly and made her warm. But the dreams always ended. She had always come crashing back to reality, and her breath would catch in her throat as she was alone again, cold again.

_On my knees, I'll ask  
Last chance for one last dance  
Cause with you, I'd withstand  
All of hell to hold your hand_

The familiar tingle of her fellow slayer was strong now, close. She had to tell her, beg her to stay. She had to promise her that when the end came she would be there with her, that they would meet it head on, side by side as it always should have been. Hand in hand.

_I'd give it all  
I'd give for us  
Give anything but I won't give up_

She wasn't running this time, fleeing scared like she always had; she was facing the past, the future and the now. No matter how it hurt, it was time.

_I wanted I wanted you to stay_

She never should have let her leave, never should have let them betray her- like she herself had once done. And now, drawing level with the place where she knew she would find her sister slayer, her Chosen One, she was going to make it right. For once she was going to make it right.

_Cause I needed  
I need to hear you say  
That I love you  
I have loved you all along_

It was all she had ever wanted -acceptance and love by the girl who had stolen her heart. All she'd ever need were those three words and she would have turned away from it all.

_And I forgive you  
For being away for far too long_

Faith had long ago forgiven the blond slayer for all the words she never said, for how far she pulled away.

For not loving her back.

_So keep breathing  
Cause I'm not leaving you anymore  
Believe it  
Hold on to me and never let me go_

It was time. She nodded stoically to herself, calling out the name into the darkness of the house.

"Buffy?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"Buffy?"

There was no reply. In fact, there was no sound at all from the darkness of the house as she wandered further inside. For a split second, Faith pondered if her slayer bond had failed her for the first time, before inwardly scoffing at the idea and closing her eyes. As she allowed her hearing to reach further into her surroundings, her slayer tingle was confirmed by the sound of small, ragged breaths.

Her boots thudded heavily on the bar wood of the stairs as she pressed on, feeling oddly like a trespasser in the house which, although deserted, looked in no other way out of the ordinary.

"B? You in here?" she asked, pushing open the door gently and knowing full well that Buffy was indeed in the room. Yet still Buffy said nothing, made no indication that Faith had entered the room, save for a small fluctuation in her breath.

She lay on her side, curled on the large double bed with her hands clasped under her head, her eyes staring blankly ahead. The movement of Faith taking her seat on the edge of the bed brought a small turn of the head from Buffy, then a sigh before she pulled herself upright to sit against the headboard.

"What?" she asked, her voice strained and hoarse from crying.

"I couldn't jus let you leave like that, B."

"Funny, I didn't see you trying to stop me? Or them for that matter. You got what you always wanted, _F_, you got my life."

Tears were beginning to creep their way down Buffy's face once again, despite her best efforts to contain them. Faith frowned, reaching up and stroking a thumb across the falling tear, watching Buffy's eyes widen at the contact, her body go rigid.

"I don't want your life, Buffy."

_I want you,_ her mind screamed. But she wouldn't tell her like this, wouldn't let it be that blurted truth in the heat of an argument, she had to fix this. She drew her hand away from Buffy's face, pulling one foot up to rest on the edge of the bed and wrapping her arm around her leg. "Nah B, you got it all wrong. Once upon a time, hell yeah I wanted your life, wanted the Watcher, the Mom, the friends." Buffy opens her mouth to argue, but is cut off. "Let me finish, kay?" Faith took a deep breath, readying herself for the explanation she had worked out in her head for so many years. "I know, I could have had it, but it woulda never been the same, ya know? I woulda always been tryna live up to you like I was back then. Thing is B, now that I've come back here, now that I'm lookin' at your life without wanting to take it away from you…I'm realizing there's no way in hell I could live your life."

The tears have dried on Buffy's cheeks as her eyes bore into Faith, perplexed. "I don't…"

"Yeah, I know, you don't get it. But I'm standin' here with ya, fightin' for the good guys again and _fuck_ it looks hopeless and part of me's got no damn clue why we're still fighting, whether or not to even bother…and that's been you for seven years, hasn't it?"

Buffy nods slowly, shocked that Faith, the last person in the world she expected to understand, is reading her feelings to her like a book.

"And then ya go and get it all thrown in your face by the people you've fought, _died_, to protect. But you gotta understand B, they're runnin' scared."

Faith takes a deep breath, realizing she had barely done so since she had begun talking. "Most of those kids, they've never been touched by death in their lives, and now here it is takin' some of the people they're closest to. They're terrified."

Faith notices the blonde stifle a sob a little and rests her hand on her knee, noticing that Buffy's body does not stiffen to her touch this time. "Dawn's right, we gotta all be together on this, and we can be. They'll follow you B, but you gotta give em a little time. Look, what I'm tryna say, is you gotta come back, kay? They need you." Faith's eyes left Buffy's for a moment, studying the scuffed toe of her boot. "We _all_ need you." OK so it wasn't quite the proclamation she'd had on her mind as she'd run here, but it was on the right track at least.

"I'm so tired of fighting. I'm tired of carrying all this." Buffy sighed, resting her head on her raised knees.

"It's what we do B." Faith replied simply. "And hey, least you don't hafta carry it on your own, that's what I'm here for."

Faith was met again by Buffy's eyes, still shimmering with tears and piercing her, searching her. "I'm glad you're here."

Her heart jolted in the realization that this was the first moment for years in which Buffy had connected with her. Treated her as an ally.

"Yeah, me too."

Buffy looked at her knees for a moment, before taking a breath to speak. "Faith, when I asked you why you had come, you said you 'hadn't given it a lot of thought', you know, coming because I needed help. But I don't get it. I mean, I get you wanting to help...but you must have known that of all the places in the world you could be of help to someone, this was the least likely to open you with welcome arms."

_Oh great, here it comes_

"Yep." She sighed, her eyes focused again on the boot hitched up on the bed before she looked back to Buffy. "Didn't matter. Will said you needed me."

"Yeah, but I mean..."

"No, B, you don't get it." _Now or never._ "Willow said _you _needed me."

She frowned for a moment, evidently confused at the darker slayers words. "But you...I mean you and I...we don't exactly have the greatest track record. I mean, you kinda hate me."

She lets out a small laugh at Buffy's words, and her own are out of her mouth before she has time to censor them. "No, B, I kinda love you."

_Ohhh fuck._

Faith keeps her eyes on Buffy, trying to gage her reaction. Mainly, she looks confused.

_Kinda cute__,_ Faith mused.

"You uh...you _what_?"

Faith raises her eyebrows at the needless question. "You know you heard me B."

"Ok, yeah, but I'm still stuck at _what__ now__? _You've done everything in your power to hurt me, to kill me."

"Guess I thought you might notice me more." she smiled, a little sadly. "I never woulda killed you." Faith looked her fellow slayer dead in the eye at her last words, her face serious.

"You didn't hate me?" Buffy's eyebrow was raised sceptically.

"Oh no, I did hate you," Faith smirked as Buffy's brow furrowed once again. "Ya know what they say though, fine line between love and hate and all that. Hated that I loved you so much, when I had no damn chance at all. I _wanted_ you; I wanted no-one else." Faith gave a long sigh. She'd never been great at talking, not when it really mattered.

"Faith why are you-"

"Because it was about time I stopped being such a pussy and told you. Figured if this all goes to shit, if we...well I didn't wanna not tell you. It's not like I'm expecting anything, I just- I just wanted to tell ya, kay?"

Buffy nodded slowly.

Faith was, once again, allowing her eyes to drift when she felt a hand on the back of her head, pulling her gaze up to Buffy's face for a brief moment before lips were on hers and she could barely breathe. It took her a second for her mind to process the situation. Buffy's lips were soft against hers, kissing her fiercely, her hand tangled in Faiths dark hair as she pulled her closer, leaning back against the wall as Faith moved between her legs, hovering over her with a hand on either side of Buffy's slim body. She had no idea what was going on, knew she should probably stop, make sure Buffy understood...but no way in hell could she pull back from the kiss.

As breathing became an issue, Faith finally dragged herself away from the older slayer and looked into her eyes, unable to pull apart and decipher the tangle of emotions in them.

"Please come back with me, it's gonna be ok." She implored breathlessly.

Nodding, Buffy tilted her head back against the wall for a moment, her eyes closed, before leading the way out of the house.

_Well_ she though, _seemed to go pretty damn well._


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"I love you."

The words rung in Faith's ears as she stood rooted to the stairs for what seemed to her like hours, seeing the flames rage around their intertwined hands. She saw Spike's lips begin to form words, and the surge of hatred that coursed through her was so intense she was almost on top of him, beating him senseless.

But no, that was _not_ what had to happen here -like it or not he was saving them. And _he_ wasn't the target of her hatred, not personally. Instead she ran, taking the stairs two at a time and screaming at Wood to get moving in the school bus now crammed with newly called slayers.

As the bus careered along the road away from the school, she forgot for a moment the disappointment, the hurt, and threw every fabric of her being into hoping, praying that Buffy was OK, straining her eyes to peer through the rising dust of crumbling buildings, her heart thudding loud and hard in her chest. She could see the city limits through the driver's window and her body was beginning to feel a little numb. She couldn't lose her, not again.

A harsh thud on the roof brought the feeling rapidly back to her body as the slayer bond roared within her. Buffy was fine, Buffy was alive.

Buffy was in love with Spike.

That thought pierced back through the worry that had encased her and resumed its savage tearing of her heart. She followed the others from the bus, glad for the breath of mildly fresh air and tried in vain to direct her eyes anywhere but at the blonde standing in front of her. She listened as the others talked around her, even joining them a little, unable to help but feel like lift of the tension through the gnawing pain inside.

* * *

"Faith?"

She turned from the view of the city and gave her companion a genuine smile, before taking a long drag of her cigarette and exhaling slowly. "Hey Big Guy."

"What're you doing up here?"

"Same thing as you I'm thinking." She smirked, glancing back over the city from atop the roof, knowing fine well that the crowd in the hotel was as uncomfortable to Angel as it was to her.

"Do they always make that much noise?"

"Generally," she nodded, flicking the ash from the cigarette off the edge of the roof and taking another drag as they stood in comfortable silence, enjoying each other's company.

"How are you?"

She shrugged, unsure of what to say to him. Hurt? Furious? Stupid, maybe? "Five by five I guess."

"Buffy was looking for you." OK, she wasn't expecting that one. Angel must have noticed the sudden tightening of her muscles, as he reached out and rested one hand on her denim-clad shoulder.

"Faith…what's going on?" No, he couldn't ask her that. She couldn't tell _him_ of all people, not him.

"Duno what you mean, Angel." She lied, glancing down. No matter how bad she felt lying to him, it was nothing to what she would feel trying to explain to him that she was in love with Buffy.

He sighed thoughtfully. "I've lived a long time you know."

Where the hell was he going with this? "Yeah, I know."

"I don't have to be Lorne to read people, Faith."

_Ahhh shit, _she cursed mentally, discarding the cigarette butt and stubbing it out with the heel of her boot. She pulled in a long breath and let it out slowly, her shoulders hunching forward a little in defeat.

"She's hurt you, hasn't she?"

Hurt her? Hurt was when Buffy had rammed six inches of cold steel into her gut. This? This was worse.

"Yeah."

Sighing again, Angel pushed his hands into his pockets, standing alongside Faith to look out over the vista.

"No biggie, I guess, after everything I did to her." I mean what could she expect, right? Buffy would probably never forgive her for it all, shouldn't forgive her. But the kiss, _that_ kiss...she'd thought it had meant _something_.

"Faith, you know as well as I do that those wounds are starting to heal for her. Whatever she's done she didn't do to hurt you." He paused for a moment, considering his next words. "Spike?"

_Damn_ _he's good._

"You readin' my mind dude?"

He gave her a sombre smile. "I'm pretty certain even Xander's one eye can see it, Faith."

She snorted with laughter. "Which bit?"

"That you're in love with her."

_Kay, so he __knows then._ She wasn't entirely sure she could do this with him; it felt like betraying him after everything he'd given her. "Y'know, of all the people I could be having this conversation with you're not really-"

"Faith, Buffy and I we just- we just weren't meant to be." He cut her off, his words calm, without the sadness they would once have been laced with. "You can talk to me, of all people I think I know best what it's like to be in love with her, dontcha think?"

She shrugged. Made sense when she thought about it really, never was big with the sharing of her feelings though. Especially not about Buffy. No, she'd kept them buried for far too long to be open and forthright about them right now.

"Yeah well, you know me Angel, I'm less with the talking, more with the hitting things. I talked to her, gave her the chan…and she chose him." The words felt like having the knife driven into her again on the rooftop that night. "End of story."

He inclined his head a little, thinking. "Things aren't always what they seem."

"Whatever, my bad. Again. Shoulda never bothered." She crossed her arms tightly across her chest, a lump in her throat and the same ache that had been there since Sunnydale. She noticed Angel open his mouth to speak again and stopped him before he started. "Don't, Angel…please." She added in a whisper. She wouldn't listen to any more, wouldn't let herself build any false hopes, not again.

Her companion scanned his eyes over the city, the sound of vehicles running smoothly along the road below them. "So what now?"

"Fuck if I know. Figured I might take a break. Just a while, y'know, before I jump back into the whole 'redemption' deal. Feels like I haven't stopped in weeks." She chuckled to herself as she realized she probably hadn't, it'd been crazy.

"Where?"

She shrugs, not having thought a great deal about it. "Just away, from…everything."

_From her__,_ she corrected, knowing too well what it was really about. What it was _always_ about.

"Reminds me, been eyeing up those sweet bikes in the W&H garage. Mind if I borrow one?" she grinned up at the vampire beside her, a sparkle in her eye at the thought of the…

"Harley?" he asked.

"How'd you guess?" She smirked, knowing fine that it fitted her to a tee.

Smiling along with her, Angel reached into the pocket of his jacket and withdrew a silver key. "Wondered how long it would take you. It's yours."

Her smile still in place, she happily received the key and pocketed it. "Promise I'll get it back to you safe and sound Buddy, just with a few more miles on the clock."

"No, it's yours." He repeated.

She nodded her appreciation, not one for gushing thank-you's, but knowing he understood.

They stood for a few more silent moments; each lost in their thoughts, before Faith heaved in a great breath and sighed it out. "Gonna hit the sack I reckon. I'll probably get outta here tomorrow."

Angel nodded, turning his gaze to her and knowing he wouldn't see her for some time after tonight. "She'll miss you, you know. I assume you won't be saying goodbye."

Faith shook her head. No, she knew she wouldn't -couldn't. "Someday, somehow, I'm gonna make it alright."

"But not right now." he finished for her apathetically. "Be careful."

"Always am." She winked at him and headed for the stairs inside; pausing at the stop she turned her head back to the vampire behind her. "Look after her for me Angel." She added quietly.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"So…so you're just leaving?"

"Looks that way B" Faith replied, her nonchalant shrug masking the torrent of emotions she was holding just below her surface. She glanced down at her boot resting against the pedal of the motorcycle she sat astride, sad that it had come to this. She'd lingered that morning, though she would never admit it. Deep down she knew she had hoped for something. But now it was here all she could feel was anger.

"But, what about…" Buffy trailed off, unsure how to finish.

"What, B?" Faith's voice was rising, her anger spilling over into her words.

Buffy's eyes grew wide, already teary, and she frowned a little in confusion, which served only to heighten Faith's rage.

"I thought…"

"You though what, B?" she cut her off. "Tell me what the fuck you thought. Now that dead boys gone you figure you'd just shack up with the next best thing?"

Brow still furrowed in confusion, Buffy hesitantly began to speak. "I don't know what you…"

"Don't fuck with me, B. Don't give me that 'I don't know what you're talking about' crap." Her voice was low now, menacing, her eyes glinting with fury and, deeper, pain. "I heard you. Your little declaration. Left after that, before I went in and killed him myself. So spare me the shit Buffy. I shoulda known."

As Buffy stood, mouth open and brow still knitted, Faith kicked the Harley into life and sped into the dim light of the morning, with one pained glance back at her blonde counterpart.

* * *

In stunned silence, Buffy watched the motorcycle disappear into the distance, her urge to run after it almost overwhelming her as it carried the dark slayer out of her life.

The cautious voice from the doorway behind her pulled her back to the moment. "Buffy?"

Turning to Willow, her lip shook a little as she fought back tears.

"Buffy what's...she's gone?"

An escaped tear rolled down her cheek smoothly as she nodded, allowing herself to collapse into the hug that was offered, sobbing gently as she was led back to her room by her oldest friend.

Falling onto he pillows of the bed, her back pressed against the wall, she rested her head on her knees as Willow gently sat next to her, mirroring the positions of her and Faith from that night back home.

"Buffy, I'm sure she'll be back. Ok so it's Faith and I'm never really sure about much with Faith- except for when I was sure she wanted to kill me," Willow rambled, finally stopping herself and sucking in a breath.

In any other time, with any other person, Buffy would undoubtedly have found herself sated by her friend's words. Would have smiled, relieved, and nodded at her, before suggesting that they call Xander and have a night in.

But not this time.

She wondered why it was so different with Faith, why everything had always been different with her. She was willing to admit she cared about her, willing even to admit that she had more than friendly feelings towards her-especially after their kiss- but still, how could it all be so different with her? She'd hurt her, hurt her friends, her family, tried to take everything from her. And even all those years ago when it was so fresh in Buffy's mind, before Faith had confessed her love, Buffy would still have run after her if she could. Did she love her? Even after everything it sounded _insane_ but really, what other explanation was there?

Willow's voice broke her train of thought for the second time that morning, her hand resting on Buffy's knee. "What were you- um- why were you arguing?"

Buffy groaned, not having any idea how to explain the whole situation.

"I mean, I heard lots of swearing and she said something about 'dead boy' and declaration but I um, I didn't want to butt in..."

The shifty look in her eyes as she glanced from Buffy to the wall made the slayer wonder just how much had actually been heard, puzzling for a moment before realization hit her like one of Faiths right-crosses.

_'Now that dead boy's gone...your little declaration...before I killed him myself.'_

"Spike!" she exclaimed. How had she not understood before?

Willow leapt from her perch on the bed, looking around quickly. "Where?"

"No, no, not here. God I can't _believe_ myself sometimes" Buffy groaned, her head once again coming to a rest on her raised knees.

Tentatively sitting back on the bed, Willow quickly put the pieces together, raising her eyebrow and smiling gently. "Oh Buff, you didn't know?"

Puzzled, Buffy raised her head an inch of two to gaze at her friend questioningly.

Sighing, Willow shook her head. "I lied, there's one thing I'm sure about when it comes to Faith, she's crazy about you!"

Buffy's head snapped up, her neck giving a painful jolt. "What? How did you- I mean- What?"

Looking sceptical, Willows eyebrows raised even further.

"Well yeah, I mean she told me. But how did you-?"

"Gaydar?" Willow stuck her tongue out at the blonde, still smiling before her expression straightened out to a more serious one. "But really Buff, you'd have to be Giles to miss it. It's always been there; even before...well before everything. But this time it was like- I swear, the way she looked at Spike sometimes, she wanted to take his eyes out just for looking at you."

Buffy was still reeling from the dawning truth of Faith's sudden departure, and now her heart was aching. If everything she had said was true, if what Willow was saying was true, she'd broken her heart.

"She told me she loved me, Will," she breathed quietly, looking at her hands wrapped around her drawn-up knees. "That night I left the house; she followed me and told me she loved me."

"I know." She nodded, once again catching Buffy off guard. "Well I didn't know, but I knew she'd gone after you and I pretty much knew how she felt so..."

"Oh God, Will I totally screwed up, I'm so defective! I just thought- and he was dying- I didn't mean- Oh shit" she finished, her head once again becoming acquainted with her bent knees. "She heard me talking to him" she sighed, "he was dying Will, to save us, I was just trying to make him happy."

Stroking her friend's hair softly, Willow nodded. "Let me guess: told him you loved him, Faith heard, got angry, and ran."

"Read my mind much?"

"I know you Buffy, and I guess I kind of know Faith too. Just like I know you're not in love with Spike but that you are in love with her." Willow gave a sagely nod as she finished, her hand resting on the top of Buffy's head soothingly.

"Huh? I never said I was- I mean I don't think I'm-" she trailed off.

Was she in love with Faith? She honestly didn't know. Sure there were feelings, but love? In love. She'd had feelings for Spike, cared about him… She shook her head, Faith and Spike were nothing alike. She'd watched Spike redeem himself, seen how he much he loved her, what he would do for her, and sure, she cared about him, felt loved with him, but with Faith, it was different. She'd felt it since the day they met outside the Bronze, felt it even when Faith had gone to work for the mayor, through it all it was there. Sure it was often buried under anger, fear, betrayal, but it still stayed there, holed up in a space in her heart that she could never quite get to to analyse, it just was. Was it really love?

"Want to let me hop on that thought train with you?"

She blinked a couple of times, her eyes begging her best friend to help her understand.

"I know, a lot's gone on with you two, you have a whole library full of history. Maybe you should just think for a while?"

"What if it's already too late?" she whispered, another tear finding its way down her cheek.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 **

As she sped along, enjoying the emptying roads as the dark drew in, Faith was still seething. Granted, the fury was being gradually overwhelmed with loss with every mile she travelled, but to be honest that was even worse.

Anger she could deal with, she always had, but loss? Well everyone around her had seen first-hand what happened when she couldn't deal.

Especially Buffy.

And always, the whole time, people just looked at her as the psycho slayer, the loose cannon. They never seemed to get that it was all about B. Always about her.

_I love you._

God, she couldn't get it out of her and it was driving her insane. Making her heart hammer and her blood pound so hard in her ears she just kept on picking up her speed to try and drown it out.

She glanced at the speedometer and saw it hit seventy, the sound of air rushing past her almost killing the thoughts and the pound of her heart.

Eighty and she was almost not thinking, her hair flying out behind her as she bent lower on the Harley.

Ninety and the thudding in her ears was almost taken over by the air screaming past her, the adrenaline streaming through her and the scenery flying by in a blur now, her thoughts almost clear.

A hundred and as the car swerved out her arms jerked instinctively, hurling herself off the road and down the embankment, the wheels spinning slower and as she lost herself to the darkness she found that her thoughts once again called out the other Slayer's name.

* * *

_Buffy glanced at her surroundings and knew instantly that this had to be a dream._

_Not only was she standing in the very same halls of Sunnydale high that she herself had blown up during the Ascension, but there was also the factor of her comfy, and distinctly missing, bed._

_"What the hell's goin' on here then B?"_

_Faith's voice came from behind her and she spun immediately, greeted with the sight of the younger slayer leaning casually against the lockers in the same black leather pants and motorcycle jacket she had left in that morning. _

_"Faith!"_

_"Yeah, sorry to disappoint."_

_"What? No, look I have to-"_

_Faith sighed, closing her eyes tightly for a moment and tucking her thumbs into the waistband of her leathers. "Look, B, I'm sorry for getting so pissed at ya, kay? Don't gotta be all sorry for me."_

_"Faith, shut up. Just shut up for a minute."_

_Looking slightly taken aback Faith obliged out of surprise at the blond, pushing herself off the lockers with her shoulder and waiting for Buffy to continue._

_"You have no idea what you're talking about, you know that?"_

_"C'mon B, I heard-"_

_"You haven't got a clue what you heard," she sighed, frustrated. "What you heard was me trying to let a dying man hear what he wanted to hear. If you had stuck around long enough you would have heard what he said."_

_Intrigued now, Faith frowned, her arms crossed._

_"He told me that he knew I didn't, but thanked me for saying it. For God sake Faith even he knew I didn't love him!"_

_At this, the darker slayers mouth dropped open. Buffy was telling her exactly what she'd been too angry and scared to think, and even now she was cautious about believing it._

_"He was a good man, when it came to it, and yes I cared about him, but I never loved him. The only reason I ever started sleeping with him was because I was so..._numb_ inside that I had to feel something."_

_"I know," Faith mumbled. "I could feel you. The day you-" she broke off, taking a deep breath. "The day you died they had to sedate me with enough crap to knock out an elephant, just to stop my fist from going through a fucking wall. I felt like someone had ripped somethin' outta me. When I woke up it was like a week later and there was something kinda ok, like I knew you were fine. Lil while later and I wasn't quick enough to tell them it was coming. I guess it musta been when they brought you back and I felt it all. Fist right through 6 inches of solid concrete. Damn that hurt. After that I just sat on my bunk in solitary, feelin' like there was nothin' in me and I knew it was you, I wanted so bad to come to you but-"_

_"You couldn't, I know you couldn't."_

_At that moment a light came from behind Faith, blinding Buffy as it streamed through the schools main doors._

_"What the-" _

_"I think that's my cue to split B. Gotta call a halt to this lil heart to heart." reaching up, Faith brushed her hand against the back of her head and Buffy's heart flipped as she saw the blood smeared across the girls hand._

_"Faith, what-? What happened?"_

_The dark slayer was stumbling backwards, and as hard as Buffy tried, every step forward seemed too short to catch her counterpart as she ventured closer to the door._

_"Faith I-"_

_"Love you B" she smiled, falling backwards through the opening doors._

* * *

For a split second as Buffy woke with a start, the only thought and sound resonating through her mind was Faith.

Faith's smile, Faith's scent, the sound of her voice that night as she uttered those words. But as that moment flew past, the events of the previous day and night flooded back into her mind and her head swam.

She was out of bed in a heartbeat, racing along the corridor towards Angel's office.

"Angel!" He would help, he always would.

"Buffy? What's wrong? Are you OK?"

"Faith, I think something's wrong. I was dreaming, and she was there and it was all good but then she left and I yelled but she wouldn't come back-" she was babbling away, tears creeping down her cheeks which she made no attempt to stop as Angel brought her to him, holding her tightly. "I need to find her."

"It's OK, we'll find her, I promise." A pause. "Do you love her?"

Buffy thought about the question that she had asked herself countless times that night and nodded. Angel placed a kiss on the top of her head and spoke gently to her. "Took you long enough."

She frowned up at him.

"I thought you'd never realize" he answered the silent question with a small smile, "come on."

Reaching under the front desk, he withdrew a key and tossed it over to Buffy, who had already made for the door. "I'll follow you soon."

Blinking back a couple of remaining tears, she hurled open the hotel door, stopping short when she saw a figure silhouetted against the morning sun, leaning back on the Harley behind her and smiling.

* * *

Faith watched Buffy's eyes widen, before her face broke into the most beautiful smile she had seen, and was completely oblivious to the aching of her body and head as the Chosen One's arms were thrown around her. She drew back a little, gazing down into the shimmering green eyes of the girl in front of her, who leaned back in to her, her lips millimetres from hers as she whispered "I love you too" before closing the gap and sealing it with a kiss.


End file.
